Warning: major bitching fest. don't read unless you're crazy
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCKKKK...had some really bad periods today. what's weird is that i also had one of my best peirods ever 3rd period. the kids were discussing the material, even arguing about opinions. they were LEARNING! off of something i designed for them. brought a smile to my heart
but then i had my fucking moron fourth period...and i finally got them working. the balance in that class is so hard to maintain. and then i get these two big punkass kids that come into my room...don't belong there, just bothering everyone and yelling...i came so close to just snapping...i need a break.
talking with ellen right now...about zero tolerance, atmoshpere of learning...so so many losers. man..i mean, i can be pretty pessimistic, buti've always been optimistic about making society better. or elsei wouldn't have become a teacher. but i see so many sloths and punks that are just so useless. the world would seriously be so much better without some of them.
if you can tell, i'm in a really angry mood right now..just venting with my colleague. i see all the worst faults in people in my kids. they be lying, stealing, being incredibly defiant. and it's hard not to take it personally...
so even if half my day went as well as it possibly could, all i can remember are the bad moments. also had to spend my lunch in some meeting about improving the school...this after knowing they're getting rid of me
i think this is where most of my actual anger is coming from. the kids have a hard enough time as it is. they got fucked up old farts who can't teach and are on tenure and take at least one day a week off. they're kids have no control, they're always late, and they just give worksheets. and they're partly responsible for the sorry state that our school is in. so who does the fucking district keep? the old farts who make twice as much as me. what kind of accountability is this. even the kids that give me a hard time know i'm a good teacher. test them. in any way. my kids will score higher than any of the other older, experienced biology teachers. and they're getting rid of me? fuck...so why should i sacrifice my fucking time and my fucking youth to a bunch of unappreciative morons and to a school that does'nt want me and doesn't think much of me?
whew...
i could go on.but i need to eat. all i had today was my cup o noodles. heck, if i keep this up, maybe i will lose the 10 pounds i need to lose to compete in the lighter divsion for tkd.
also have to sweep my floors and tape more paper over the broken tiles to keept he asbestos from leaking in. fun
k
note to self: work on kicking accuracy. seems like i almost broke hank's cup, and i hit another guy in the hip. luckily i was only working on my fast kicks. maybe i should just aim for the neck region, that way, considering my 1 ft. standard deviation in kicking accuracy, i'm bound to hit something legal. of course, i'm down to one leg now cuz i repulled my left hamstring. i still didn't get to spar today though =( maybe next week, cuz i'll need to practice at least once before i actually compete and go all crazy...
Thursday, March 13, 2003
oh man..so i wrote up this whole long blog entry last night b/c luce gave me a guilt trip for not writing. and then for some reason it doesn't save! shoot...anyways, so i'm over in my neighbor's room on his computer b/c his internet still works and he takes off right away after school. i figure since i'm gonna be here late, i might as well take a break, eat my reese's pieces (i'm out of cup o noodles and soups) and write.
so anyways, i was thinking of competing in the uc open. i haven't sparred in over two years. heck, i suck at it. i got speed, but no accuracy. as long as i'm sparring someone i don't know, i guess that's ok. i wouldn't like to kick someone i know in the knee or the face, which is what i think i'm likely to do if i spar all out. oh well..can't know until i try right? so i'm gonna go to the tkd workout tonight and hopefully hank and i will be able to kick each other until we puke.
i think i'm finally getting a new roommate now too. she's going to come by tonight and meet the other roommates and to sign the lease. that'll be good cuz it'll give me another month or two before i'll really have to start looking for another job. i'm pretty sure i'm gonna get the pink slip tomorrow (of course, the morons might way till saturday to tell me) along with all the other new oakland teachers. stupid huh? and there's a major shortage of science teachers, let alone good science teachers. heck, i might not be good, but i'm better than having a different substitute every day. even some of the kids don't want to see me go.
i'm teaching about evolution right now, and things can get kind of interesting in class. for the religious folk, i just point out to them that there are certain facts, and that there are certain opinions. i don't care what anybody believes, but i don't want people saying that everything is a bunch of hogwash. i just want everyone to be able to understand the reasons and to back up their own opinions with facts. a lot of them got really interested with the evolution of the whale and how their ancestors were similar to wolves. and then we started talking about horses and how their ancestors had four fingers. and i brought up chimpanzees have long toes to grab branches and i related that with humans moving to the savannah's and not needing long toes because we wouldn't be able to run as fast. but of course, as soon as i get to that part and relating humans with other animals, some of the students go crazy.
today was a good day for school too. of course, good is a relative term. my standards have gone way down. there were no loud distractions, no kids directly confronting me for more than 10 seconds. one class even finished what i wanted to accomplish for the day! yesterday just stressed the heck out of me, so i made it a point to go to hankido and beat the bag and myself up. i won't be dealing with this too much longer though...just a couple of more months. than it's off to whatever part time job i find. i don't think i'll work with henry at the lab...i think i'd like to learn how to cook at some restaurant, or maybe pursue that mechanic thing. of course, there's always the possibility that i'll be teaching biology or physics at a catholic school, but we'll see
k, i've been chilling here long enough. hope everyone's doing well! remember, SKI TRIP! MARCH 28-30.
=)
