so yesterday i forgot to mention, i gave money to a homeless guy for the first time in a long time. it was really weird though. i used to not mind doing that at all before. i used to always just sit down and chill and occasionally talk to different homeless ppl. hell, i used to even council them..not that i was ever really qualified. but i generally cared enough to try to make them a little happier. but as all of you have noticed..i've gotten pretty bitter this past year. and homeless ppl haven't escaped my wraith.
so anyways, i see this black dude next to the bart entrance with his kid selling street spirit, and all the normal bitter thoughts cross my mind. fucking lazy ass bitch probably didn't try in school, wasn't careful enough and had a kid to support...blahblah blah...but then, i just kept watching, and i start feeling sorry for the guy. i mean, people are mean. all people. everyone just plain ignored them. that's one thing i hate doing....it's so degrading, it's like you're not even acknowledging their existance. of course, if you see it all the time, it gets easier to brush it off...but still...i'd hate myself for doing it.
so i keep watching, and the kid is selling flowers..and finally after like 10 min (my friend that i was waiting for was late) some guy stops by. of course, he's black, so maybe he sympathizes more, and he buys the flowers...but he only gave the kid 2 bucks. the kid turns around and tells the dad "i only got two bucks for that" but i think the dad was still appreciative...he smiled to the kid and just nodded. i guess it got to me, so when my friend finally came, i decided to give them the change in my pocket. not much, but still...
people can be so cold to each other. even if people deserve what they got... i dunno....at least i'm not all bitter now...
Tuesday, June 24, 2003
second day of class came and went...and i went straight home and started gardening. coleman, the horticulutre student who i hired to help me out, got here early, so we started right away. if i haven't mentioned this before..apparently, i have 3 of the most invasive plants that can grow in the region. this one wire vine has hopped from tree to tree and is growing all over. even onto all of my neighbors plants. the native plum trees are spreading like crazy, and the acacia, which grows crazy fast has been popping up everywhere too. the worst is the blackberries though, b/c those thorns hurt! so coleman and i just hacked away and made this huge pile of tree parts and vines in the middle of my yard...hopefully, once my dad finishes the plans for my driveway and the extra unit in the back, i'll be able to decide what to do wtih my fence and stuff
being a homeowner right now sucks...especially when i dont' get to make all the decisions...
i'm going to fentons later today with hansie and some folks..i haven't been there in like 3 years. course, right now, i'm eating a bunch of ramen..i know i know..i said i'd start cooking real food...i'm just finishing off my stock. besides, i'm having a bunch of friends over thursday to just eat and cook...
so my sleep problems continue....maybe it's psychological. i finally had to get up early, and i finally couldn't. i must've given myself whiplash like 10 times during class today. the first half was so boring...at least we got out early today, so class was only 6 hrs long. no lunch break though!
i went to Pacbell park (or is it SBC park?) for the first time today. the game was awesome. giants up all game, till the dodgers scored two runs in the ninth to tie it up. of course, during that rally, there was a fight in my section btwn a giants and a dodgers fan. dude...security was on them fast. guys didn't even get to throw punches =(. at the end of the game, there was beer and peanuts everywhere. the park is pretty sweet..i might have to convert to being a giants fan just b/c of that. it was weird not knowing all of the players though. and we had no mullets in the stands. so different from A's games. but sitting in the bleachers with all the other poor folk was cool. always rowdy. always cool. and i had the usual...hotlink, garlic fries, and beer. oh yeah...
