i'll start blogging here when i really need to rant... good thing hardly anyone knows about this site. and for those of you freaks who are actually reading this site, i pity you in your boredom! besides, i think only a few of my closest friends actually knew about this..so i dont' mind if you know how i truly feel

anyways, it's like how when i taught, everything was so negative. life was negative. ask me how i was and i'd say "feel like crap" or at best "i'm tired..." well..this post is all negative, so be warned and view me as you wish.

this is one of those moments, when i've worked my ass off my dad, but he's still got a problem with something cuz he's not listening to my q's and i can't exactly do everything he wishes and so he gets more mad. then he confronts me and we start "discussing loudly" and then my fucking mom always tries to come in and she's always makes things worse. even when she KNOWS what we're talking about, she doesn't normally listen to what others have to say. but in this case, she didnt' even know what we were arguing about, and she tries to butt in and tell us what to do. i really wanted to fucking slap her and tell her to shut the fuck up and listen for one goddamn time. and my dad...)must be from living with my mom for so many years) where he just needs to keep saying something to make sure he's heard. problem is, i hear and listen, even while talking. they don't. my aunt is here, and she's trying to help me cuz she has that amazing ability to understand the changes in air pressure that my vocal cords are making...but ugh...fucking idiotic parents.
what makes things exponentially worse..my dad has misunderstandings over the simplest things. today, among the numerous things he misunderstood in ONE conversation:
1) the items we were talking about (brass stair case rails, and not the brass street monuments)
2) the date that we needed the above said items (not what kind of shipping we need)
3) written check as method of payment

it's like trying to ask someone "what time can you pick me up?" and having him answer "why did you get me pepporini when i asked for sausage?"

yes, our arguments make that much sense...


anyways, what i originally wanted to write about was about my ease of writing off my family. i know that you can't choose your family. you can only accept them for who they are. no matter what, they're your family. but who says i have to have them in my life?

i think it's easy for certain people to just say that, that you cant' choose who they are, so you have to just accept them. i say fuck that. most people that can accept their families have relatively decent family members. i would say my family is "bearable" in small doses. but is it wrong for me to wish more? some people are appalled when i say i have one "bitchy" sister, and another "bitchier" sister. then they find out i'm totally serious. (of course, it makes sense to them once they actually MEET them and my sisters reveal their true evilness)
same with my mom. i think all of my previous gf's could tell pretty early that i didn't want them to meet my mom. i wouldn't describe my mom as evil (yes, just my sisters) but she's FUCKING CRAZY. and doesn't listen, almost to the point where she purposely ignores what you say. in her mind, it's easier to deal with people if you can argue with them in your own head. so why listen to what they have to say when you can just imagine what they have to say? ugh....
so my solution for my sisters is just to keep them out of my life. don't interact with them.

sad huh? it's like not having sisters...they're so irrational and bitchy. am i just too picky with people? maybe. i do expect more out of myself, and out of my friends and families. with friends, it's so much easier to get them out of your life. but with family? how the hell could i actually share so many of genes with such total morons!?!?!?